Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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