I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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