What a fucking waste of an outfit
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
