and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
