I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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