Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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