would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Pooping to opera.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
