Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
