we're chasing vodka with high fives
I could make wine with my vomit
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
