That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize
