Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
