One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
