my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
