i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
