Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
