A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
