I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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