omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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