ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
