Screwed.edu
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
