I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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