yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
