so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
