I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
