the day after is always just damage control
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You pole danced in your parka.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
