Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize