this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
