That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
