At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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