I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
