If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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