one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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