something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
