We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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