I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize