Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
