he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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