He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
