He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize