I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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