were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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