Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
