So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
