My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
