My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
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it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize