If i come over, it means nothing
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize