dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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