My brain says no but my pants say off.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
All the doctor said was why
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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