You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
