scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
