Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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