either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
