his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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