finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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