I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
