spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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