im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She's the barista slut.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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