idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
