I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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