Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
